


Odd Tadashi

by staringatstars



Series: Odd Squad [1]
Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Gen, Mystery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-20
Updated: 2015-02-20
Packaged: 2018-03-13 22:12:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3398120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/staringatstars/pseuds/staringatstars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tadashi's a little banged up but he didn't die in the fire. Something seems a little off with his friends, though. Well, at least Hiro's okay. Sure, he's determined to never give Tadashi his hat back ever and that's a little strange. There's one other thing about him that's kind of strange, too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Still Alive

**Author's Note:**

> Xposted on tumblr and fanfiction. Figured I'd post all my best stories here^^

The school was an oven. Fire ran up the walls and raged fromthe ceiling like angry dogs, growling and snapping and biting. It was all Tadashi could to walk fast enough not to get burned. Moving fast didn't keep the superheated air from searing his lungs, though.

He shouted for Professor Callaghan long after his body began to scream for him to shut his mouth.

An inner voice told him he was going to be leaving Hiro alone and he acknowledged that it was probably right. The building's structure was unstable. The ceiling could collapse at any minute. If he stayed any longer, he and Callaghan would both die, and he couldn't leave his brother. Not now. Not after he was finally turning his life around.

_Thanks for not giving up on me._

He wanted to be there on Hiro's first day of college. He wanted to be at his graduation. He wanted to see his little brother grow up.

He turned around.

Over his head, a beam began to groan, straining and breaking under the stress of the ceiling's weight. He calculated his fastest speed against the current rate of the building's collapse and realized he didn't have a snowman's chance in Summer of surviving.

He ran, anyway.

He ran faster.

Something pushed him from behind, sending him stumbling forwards, confused and disoriented. It was followed by an ear shattering crash. And a force like ten bowling balls being slammed against every inch of skin.

He deactivated.

 

The first thing he heard when he came to was someone arguing and someone sobbing.

_-have to tell him!_

_No, we don't! He almost died, Gogo. Do you really think now is the best time to tell him something that would kill him on a good day?!_

_Stop it! Stop fighting! I can't-_

Going back to sleep seemed incredibly tempting, especially now that his body was starting to ache, but a featherlight touch on his hand alerted him to Hiro's presence and he realized he couldn't keep worrying them. Suppressing a groan, he let his eyelids flutter open and let the light in. The extremely, absurdly, bright light.

Five faces froze, the sound stopping abruptly like someone had pressed the mute button on the room.

Fred was sitting in the green armchair in the corner, his skinny body nearly enveloped by the seat cushion. There were dark bruises under his eyes. Honey stared at Tadashi, slackjawed, her nose red and inflamed from crying. Wasabi and Gogo also stared, though they'd never changed their posture so they still looked like they could start up again any second.

And - Tadashi forced his stiff neck to turn so he could get a better look at Hiro – Hiro was staring at him with wide eyes, his hand resting lightly on his arms and, in the time it took to breathe, a smile began to creep up his face.

Tadashi tried to speak, winced, and regretted the attempt immensely. Hiro saw his pain and immediately went for the cup at his bedside, but Honey beat him to it. She snatched the cup away and helped Tadashi gulp down some of the water without paying any attention to Hiro.

The cool water was a relief. It was really was. It was just that the look on his brother's face kind of made Tadashi feel a little nauseous and he wished Honey had just let Hiro give him the drink.

When it seemed like Tadashi was comfortable and fully awake, Fred wrapped his arms around him.

"Don't do that again, man." He sniffed. "You have to live for another bajillion years."

On Tadashi's tongue were the words he'd said to Hiro; he decided not to say them again. Instead, he chuckled. "That might be hard, Fred. But I'll try."

Most of his friends looked happy with his answer, especially Hiro, who punched his shoulder softly, as if saying, You better.

Gogo snorted. "You better."

Rolling his eyes at her, probably because he was still angry about whatever they were fighting about at the moment, Wasabi came over to shake his hand. Tadashi reached over with the hand he wasn't using to caress Honey Lemon's head - she was sobbing freely on his chest, her tears seeping through his gown and fogging up her glasses. Periodically, she would raise her head to choke out just how happy she was that she was okay - and grasped his hand in a firm, manly handshake. Apparently, that wasn't enough, though, because Wasabi quickly abandoned the handshake so he could throw his arms around him.

"Hey, Big Guy?" Tadashi squeaked. "I can't breathe."

Wasabi loosened his grip but didn't let go. "We almost lost you, Tadashi."

Hearing it said brought back memories of fire. He shuddered. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Hiro was wearing his hat and frowned. "Hiro? Why are you wearing my hat?" He reached for it but Hiro danced out of range, edging back in only for Tadashi to reach for the hat again and Hiro to dance away again. "Fine" He grumbled. "Just remember I'm going to want that hat back when I get out of here."

Hiro grinned. Neither agreeing nor disagreeing to give him back his hat.

The others looked between him and Hiro uneasily.

"Listen, Tadashi," Gogo began, her voice oddly low. "There's something we need to tell you-" That was as far as she got before Wasabi surprised her by clapping a hand over her mouth and dragging her out the door.

The day wasn't soundproof, though.

"Ow! She bit me!"

Whatever Gogo said in reply was too muddled by rage to be discernable. Tadashi turned to Honey, his face a huge question mark.

Though Honey laughed nervously, she didn't elaborate, so Tadashi worried his lip. He'd wracked his brain for whatever his friends could've been fighting about and could only come to one conclusion.

"It's Callaghan, isn't it?" He muttered, eyes focused determinedly on her and not on his clenched fists. "He died, didn't he?"

Taking the stunned silence as an answer, he lowered his eyes, his bruised arms and shoulders screaming at the sudden and abrupt exertion he'd put them through.

"Yes." The answer was so soft and quiet Tadashi almost missed it. "They never found Callaghan's body, but his funeral is in two days." Eyes brimming with tears again, she said, "I'm so sorry, Tadashi."

Maybe if he'd stayed longer. Maybe if he hadn't turned back. Maybe if he hadn't given up so quickly, Professor Callaghan would still be-

The skin on his arm prickled, cold. Drawing him out of his thoughts. He looked down to see Hiro leaning on his arm, staring up at him like a baby reindeer.

"Sorry, Bonehead," Tadashi mussed his messy hair. "I'll try not to beat myself up too much."

Speaking for his brother was a little weird, especially since usually he couldn't get him to shut up, but Tadashi wanted to let Hiro know that he got the message and he understood.

Concern flickered across Honey's face as she watched the two of them. Fred, on the other hand, just shrugged and waved at Hiro.

Bemusedly, Tadashi noticed that Fred's wave missed Hiro slightly. His body was faced more to the right of him than directly at his back.

He shrugged it off.


	2. Silence

On the way home, after Tadashi'd been discharged from the hospital with stern orders of hydration and bed rest from his nurse, they passed the bright lights of San Fransokyo's Institute of Technology. Hiro pressed his nose against the glass, looking longingly at its imposing structure as it glowed due to the light of the morning sun reflecting off the fog surrounding its towers.

From his seat, Tadashi observed the look of awe on his brother's face with some satisfaction.

"…are you feeling?"

Jerking his head away from his brother, Tadashi sat up in his seat and tried to focus on whatever it was that Aunt Cass had said to him. "Sorry, Aunt Cass," he muttered sheepishly. "Could you repeat what you just said?"

Green eyes appeared in the rearview mirror, making Tadashi feel a little like a science project. Aunt Cass's hair was rumpled from a night of sleeping in a lumpy hospital chair and the black cotton shirt and beige pants she was wearing were the same clothes she's run out of the Lucky Cat Café in when she'd heard about the fire, but she still looked as alert as ever and Tadashi knew that trying to pull one over on her wouldn't fly, so he answered honestly.

"Well, I mean, my head's a little sore and my shoulder's still kind of banged up…"

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hiro's hands flitting in front of his face. It was one repeated motion and once he saw it head on, he recognized it.

"Sign language, Hiro? Really? We haven't used sign language since you were…" He thought for minute and then remembered that the last time they'd used sign language was around when Hiro was getting ready to graduate from high school. So, not that long ago, really. "You were twelve. Why the sudden resurgence in interest?"

An irritated expression came over Hiro's features and he mimed a mouth clamping shut with his hand. Then he formed the sign for the letter D and used it to adjust a set of imaginary glasses. The letter D plus the sign for "nerd" was the sign name Hiro had made for Tadashi when he was eight.

_Shut up, Dashi._

Tadashi covered his mouth so he wouldn't laugh. When he saw Tadashi wasn't going to interrupt again, Hiro held his palm open, fingers bent at the joints, and circled his face. One finger formed a question mark.

_Are you dizzy?_

It figured Hiro would be worried about him. He'd have to have Baymax scan his brother when they got back to the café.

Tadashi shook his head. Palm flat and thumb pointed towards his chest, he signed back:

_I'm fine._

Which was mostly true. He was really didn't feel too bad. Even the doctors had said he'd come out of the fire with remarkably minor injuries.

"Tadashi, you know, your friends told me you've been talking to Hiro since you woke up."

"Of course I have, " Tadashi replied, a note of confusion in his voice. "He's my brother. Why wouldn't I?"

Who would report him to Aunt Cass for talking to Hiro? Had it just come up in idle conversation? Why was it even important?

Conversation died after that. Aunt Cass pressed her lips into a thin line, her fingers gripping the stirring wheel until her knuckles stood out prominently against her skin.

Not a minute after silence filled the car, the smaller form next to him started to shake and Tadashi felt something in his chest squeeze because for some reason everyone he cared about was unintentionally hurting his brother and he didn't know why.

He wrapped his arm around Hiro and promised he would fix it. It didn't matter if he didn't know what was going on. He'd fix it, somehow.

 

"Alright, Hiro, say "Ow."

They were back in the attic. Aunt Cass was making phone calls downstairs so Tadashi figured it'd be alright if they took a few minutes before lunch to have Baymax check Hiro out. Hiro didn't look burned or injured, and if he had been he probably would have been in the hospital bed next to Tadashi, but it really was best to be sure.

When they were standing in from the deactivated Baymax's cube, Tadashi turned to Hiro expectantly, only to see the flat, unimpressed look his brother was giving him, arms crossed and everything because, right, if Hiro could speak they wouldn't be activating Baymax.

Another thought occurred to him. They never should have left the hospital until after Hiro was checked out, too. Tadashi had just assumed the mutism was just the result of Hiro giving him the silent treatment or trying out a new way to eat away the time. Each passing hour of continued silence seemed to cast doubt on that assumption, though. The worry that had started as a seed was starting to erupt into a full blown tree and he could only hope that Baymax would know what was going on.

"Ow!"

Sounds of inflation soon filled the air and, gradually, the white cube uncurled and grew into a very tall marshmallow man.

Baymax blinked. "Hello. I am Baymax. Your personal healthcare assistant. I heard you were in distress."

"Actually, Baymax," Tadashi replied, rubbing his neck, "I'm not the one in distress right now. Hiro hasn't been talking for the past few days and I was hoping that you could tell me what's causing the symptom and if it's physical or psychosomatic." This whole thing was reminding him of when Hiro refused to speak for weeks after their parents died and it was making him feel like a complete failure of a big brother.

"Where is Hiro?" Inquired Baymax. "He is my patient. I would like to see him."

"Where?" Tadashi spun around to see his brother had somehow spirited himself out of the room without him noticing. The exasperated college student made a noise of frustration. "First he doesn't give me my hat back, then he doesn't speak, and now he won't stay still."

In a pose of unending and dramatic agony, palms pressed firmly against his eyes, he asked, "Baymax? Do you think I'm being taken advantage of?"

"I am not sure my current programming qualifies me to answer. Did you mean sex-"

"Iamsatisfiedwithmycare!"

Aunt Cass called upstairs before had Tadashi stopped clutching his chest like he'd nearly had a heart attack.. "Tadashi! Time for lunch!"

"Be down in a second." He wheezed out. It seemed like Baymax needed a few more adjustments when it came to tone, figurative language, and what was not appropriate to say.

A few minutes later Tadashi marched down the stairs in a white t-shirt and his yellow cardigan. Hiro, who was already seated at the table, waved cheerfully when he saw him, obviously not the least bit repentant for ditching him in front of Baymax.

"I nearly died up there, you know." Tadashi grumbled as he pulled out his seat. He realized belately when Aunt Cass froze that it probably wasn't a funny thing to say and quickly apologized to her. It was something he would have said normally but it looked like jokes of that nature would have to wait a little while.

Lunch was Caesar salad and fried chicken with some muffins from the café for desert. Only two plates were laid on the table, one for Tadashi and one for Aunt Cass. The spot in front of Hiro was bare, though he pretended it didn't bother him by playing with Mochi.

"Hey, Aunt Cass?"

"Hm?"

"You forgot to set the table for Hiro."

Glasses fell to the floor and shattered upon impact. Being the closest, Tadashi shot out his seat to help her brush up the glass pieces. "Oh, right." Aunt Cass muttered to herself mechanically as they finished throwing out the glass. "How silly of me. I forgot to set a plate for Hiro."

Mochi squirmed a bit when Hiro held her too tightly so Hiro let him go. Just like the car drive home, lunch was largely silent.

Until it became obvious to Tadashi that Hiro had no plans of taking his hat off at the table. He swatted Hiro lightly. "Take off your- no, wait, my hat. We're at the table."

Grumbling noiselessly, Hiro stuck his tongue out but he laid the hat on the table.

"Put it in your lap," Tadashi hissed out of the side of his mouth. Rolling his eyes, Hiro did as ordered.

Since Hiro didn't really touch his plate, Aunt Cass seemed to preoccupied with her fork to eat, and Tadashi was too strung up by the tense atmosphere to enjoy the meal, he ended up just saran wrapping the three meals and placing them in the refrigerator.

Before he knew it, it was dark outside and time to go to sleep for the night. He leaned down, kissed Aunt Cass on the cheek, and then moved away so Hiro could do the same.

A few emotions flitted over Hiro's face as he looked at her: nervousness, grief, then it settled into probably the most tender expression he'd ever made in his life. He leaned down, kissed Aunt Cass on the cheek, whispered words Tadashi couldn't make out into her ear, and then smiled sadly when she didn't react in the slightest.

 

For whatever reason, Hiro decided to go to bed in his hoodie and red t-shirt. The choice was greeted by Tadashi's disapproving lazer beams but Hiro just stared innocently at him until the battle ended in Hiro's favor.

Once they were both in bed, Tadashi decided it was high time they talked, so he turned on his side and whispered, loud enough so it reached the other bed but hopefully not downstairs,

"Listen, Hiro, you know you can't stay silent forever, right? I scared you, I get that. I also know that I'm still here. I'm fine. And I'm not going anywhere." He saw movement in the dark and, to his chagrin, realized Hiro was still trying to sign. With a sigh, he got up and turned on the lights.

_I know._

"Know what?"

_All of it._

"Then when are you going to speak?"

There was long pause in which Hiro hands stilled but his mouth opened slightly, worked, like he was honestly, desperately trying to. Finally, he gave up.

_I can't._

Tadashi didn't know what to say to that. Part of him wanted to tell Aunt Cass right away, wanted to take Hiro to the hospital and fix him, except that part was fighting against something much larger and stronger. There was a dread in him, a fear that made him say, "We'll wait a few days. If you still can't speak after tomorrow, we'll take you to the hospital."

He turned off the lights and crawled into bed.

A thought turned in his mind before sleep claimed him. A thought about looking at Hiro's problem from another angle.

What if he could speak?

What if Hiro could speak just fine and the only reason it seemed like he couldn't was because no one could hear him?

Groaning, he dismissed the thought and dissolved into oblivion.


	3. The End of a Dream

_Tadashi!_

For the second time in three days, the eldest Hamada brother woke up with sunlight searing his eyeballs. In his struggle to both turn over and shield his eyes, he almost tumbled out of the bed, something Hiro would never have let him live down and would likely bring up in his Best Man toast. With that last thought in mind, he stuck one leg out, found the floor, and used it to steady himself.

He was so proud when he didn't fall and make a fool of himself that he let out a little whoop, then hurriedly shushed himself because him being awake did not automatically mean everyone else was.

And thus, the graceful and poised Tadashi Hamada joined the world of the living.

As it turned out, he needn't have worried about waking Hiro. The bed was already empty, sheets pulled up to the top and folded over, pillow fluffed and full.

"Well" Tadashi huffed as he stumbled to his feet, "Now I know my brother's been possessed."

Before he left the room, he made sure to mess Hiro's bed up.

It looked too weird when it was made.

"Hey, Baymax! Wake up, buddy!"

Baymax inflated, blinked, and then gave a little wave. "Hello, Tadashi. Good morning."

Laughing, Tadashi brushed Baymax's shoulder. "It's good to see you, Baymax. Do your scanners detect Hiro, anywhere?"

He'd programmed the tracker in Hiro's hoodies into Baymax, so as long as his brother was wearing a hoodie, there was no way he could get into trouble without Tadashi finding him.

"Hiro is not here." Baymax responded after a few seconds of processing information.

"Elaborate, Baymax."

"Your heart rate is increasing, Tadashi. Are you feeling anxiety?"

Tadashi sighed, his head resting against his robot's chest. "Please, Baymax. I'm tired and I'm worried and I just want to know where my brother is."

Humming softly, Baymax continued, "Most of Hiro's trackers are located in his room, but one of them was damaged approximately three days ago. It is now offline and no longer broadcasting a signal. I cannot track it, Tadashi. I am sorry."

Three days ago was the fire. Frowning, Tadashi wondered if Hiro was close enough for the heat to damage the chip.

A soft, hesitant voice called to him from the doorway. "Tadashi?"

He spun around to see Aunt Cass leaning up against the wall, her eyes red rimmed from crying. Immediately, he blamed himself for scaring her. It was baffling how trying to save a life had caused so much pain. Trying being the operative word. He hadn't even managed to save Professor Callaghan. All he'd done was upset his friends and family and all he wanted to do now was make it better somehow.

So why did things keep getting worse?

He watched her worry her lip a little before she continued, "Tadashi, I need you to put on your suit. We're going out today."

His suit? Was Professor Callaghan's funeral today?

He didn't really want to speak to his family just yet. He wasn't sure he was ready to hear them thank him for trying to save Professor Callaghan when the truth was trying wasn't good enough. Even if Tadashi had tried to save the Professor, the reality was he'd failed. And now he was alive and the Professor wasn't.

"Alright," he finally replied. "I'll change real quick so we can go." When she turned to leave, he added, in the most nonchalant voice he could muster, "Say, Aunt Cass, I haven't seen Hiro today. Do you happen to know where he ran off to?"

Her eyes widened, a strangled noise cutting off whatever she'd been planning on saying. She gasped mutely, then said, "H-he'll be meeting up with us."

"Oh." Tadashi said, and let her leave.

 

Once he'd deactivated Baymax, he turned to leave, only to stop short when he saw Hiro leaning in the doorway close to where Aunt Cass had been leaning a few minutes before.

"Oh, hey" Tadashi said, relieved to see him, "Aunt Cass said we're going out. You should probably change into your suit."

_Dashi_ , Hiro signed, his face grave, _don't you think it's weird that no one's talked to me?_

In fact, he did think it was weird. So weird his heart rate was increasing, beating fast against his ribcage. Still, he tried to at least pretend to be calm. "You haven't really talked to anybody either, bro."

The signs sped up.

_Ok, moving on, I've been wearing the same clothes for three days. Doesn't that strike you as odd?_

Tadashi snorted. "So that's why everyone's been acting so weird about you. It's because you stink."

Hiro groaned so hard it was nearly audible.

_No! Dashi, you have to listen to me! There's something you need to know before-_

A shout for Tadashi to hurry up and come down drew his attention away from Hiro for a split second. By the time he looked down again, the boy was already gone.

 

"What sort of joke is this?"

It was raining. Everyone carried black umbrellas in their hands as the cold water poured down, except Tadashi, because he brushed off any offers and refused to take shelter. He was staring at a black coffin. It was smaller than a regular coffin, too small for Professor Callaghan, at least, which would have made sense because they never found his body but for the plaque that read:

Hiro Hamada

Beloved brother, son, and nephew.

"We're so sorry, Tadashi."

It was Honey Lemon. She placed a tentative hand on his shoulder. "We didn't know how to tell you."

"I knew how." Gogo stated bluntly. Her attempts to tell him, blocked repeatedly by Wasabi rose to the forefront of Tadashi's muddled mind.

"Yeah, you did." Wasasbi conceded, looking angry. "But your idea of taking out a splinter is cutting off the foot and we couldn't let you do that to him."

Gogo turned on him, eyes flashing with grief and rage. "So this is better?!" She gestured to Tadashi, looking confused and lost at the coffin. "If we'd told him straight out that Hiro died in that fire, then at least he'd have had some time to prepare himself. What we did-how we went about this, it was wrong, Wasabi."

"Maybe." Wasabi looked Tadashi over, burning his hunched form into his brain. "But I think we should let Tadashi decide that on his own… when he comes back."

Fred stepped in, holding something burned and tattered in his hands. More than any of the others, he got Tadashi's attention, because in his hands was his favorite hat. It's blue had faded significantly, probably due to its coating of smoke and ash, but the Sans Fransokyo Ninja logo was undeniably his.

Though his eyes flitted in disbelief from the hat to an empty spot in the air, his hands took the hat, cradling in gently against his chest.

"I don't understand," he muttered, skirting the edges of panic. "Hiro's been wearing this hat since I woke up. How-" His words died off. As his friends watched, Tadashi's turned sharply, checking his back and sides for a messy head of black hair and his baseball cap. "Where is he?" He lifted himself on the tips of his toes so he could scan the crowd and behind the trees. "Where did he go?"

Wasabi placed a comforting hand of his shoulder. "Tadashi, if you can't see him anymore, maybe this is his way of telling you to let go. To let him go."

Tadashi stopped moving long enough for Wasabi to let his guard down, then tossed the hand off and backed away, his head moving side to side in quiet denial.

"No."

He didn't give them a chance to stop him or convince him to stay. Without pausing, he pushed off the ground and sprinted for the cover of the trees.

By the time they started running, he was already gone.


	4. Ya'aburnee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like you made it all the way to the end. Hope you enjoyed it^^

The Lucky Cat Café had been locked up when they left, leaving Tadashi to search his pockets frantically until he accidentally dropped the spare key and ended up kicking the door in frustration.

Eventually, he got down on his hands and knees, shivering from the rain that drenched him, and searched the bushes. He was shaking so hard by the time he found it that he nearly dropped it again when he went to shove it in the keyhole.

Finally, the door opened. and he rushed into the house yelling, "Hiro! Where are you?"

Usually, when Hiro was upset, he hid in his room, so that was the first place he went to check. Turned out he wasn't even that far away. The crouched form sitting at the top of the stairs, waiting for him, was his little brother.

Exhausted and panting, Tadashi climbed up the stairs, his hat still pressed against his chest, and collapsed next to Hiro.

Seconds passed that turned into minutes. Neither really wanted to speak because that would mean the dream they'd shared of a happy future where both of them were alive and together was really ending.

Deep in his own thoughts, Tadashi thought of someone who had pushed him out of the way. He'd wondered who it was, just never very hard or intently.

And now he knew why.

Because he'd always known who had pushed him out of the way. It was the same reason why he'd never asked the doctors about Hiro or taken him to the hospital when he realized he couldn't speak. It was the reason he never really talked to Aunt Cass. He was afraid someone would tell him what he knew now.

Sitting beside him, Hiro looked miserable. A coat of ash turned his black hair almost white, his clothes were reduced to burned scraps hanging off his frame. Worst of all, half the skin on his face was blackened around edges, peeling away to reveal the raw muscle beneath.

Hiro had tried to tell him.

He hadn't listened.

"Did you die because of me?" Tadashi finally asked. "If I had never gone in to save Professor Callaghan, you'd still be alive." He smiled bitterly, self-loathing etched into every feature of his face. "I really let you down, Hiro."

Cold air brushed his palm. He looked down to see Hiro's hand on it.

_My choice._

Hiro signed, his body language exuding a confidence he rarely showed.

_I chose to follow you. I chose to save you. No regrets._ He paused and softened. _No apologies, Dashi… Someone had to help, right?_

"Not you." Regret gathered in Tadashi's throat, choking him. "It wasn't- I wasn't… I wasn't supposed to lose you. This wasn't supposed to happen. I-" He wasn't breathing right. Air flowed into his lungs in short gasps and pain built in his chest as his muscles tightened from the lack of oxygen. It was making him feel dizzy. Spots danced around the edges of his vision as he tried desperately to make his breathing regulate itself.

Then a head of spiky black hair leaned against him, cooling his skin.

And his breathing steadied, calm with his brother so close, so real.

A single thought occurred to him that chased that brief calm away with the speed and brutal efficiency of the sun chasing away the morning fog.

Wasn't this the part where he was supposed to let Hiro go? Let him smile and dissolve into light so he could see their parents again and be at a peace and Tadashi could…move on? How? How was he supposed to live in a world that didn't have his little brother in it?

Tadashi latched on to Hiro, his arms wrapped around his slender body, and cried, "I don't want to lose you, too, Hiro. I can't! I can't I-"

Ghostly fingers pulled his hands away, guiding them into shapes and words Tadashi could just barely dredge up from memory.

_Don't be dumb, Dashi. I'm always going to be with you._

For a while, they just held each other. It didn't seem fair that the world that took their parents from them had decided it could take more. It didn't seem fair that Hiro's life had to end when it was really just beginning, when his big brain could do so much for the world. None of it was right or fair. But it also wasn't something they could change.

Tadashi screwed his eyes shut; keeping them shut as long as he could because he could guess what he would see when he opened them. He knew he didn't want Hiro to leave. He also knew he couldn't make him stay, and when his arms closed on empty air and the cold touch on his skin faded to a dull echo, he pitched forward, gasping and trembling, his hands laid flat against the wall.

He bowed his head, willing to the world to stop moving. Willing time to stop.

 

It'd been two weeks since Hiro had left for good. Two weeks and Tadashi had almost never left his room. Sometimes he helped Aunt Cass prepare for the eventual reopening of the Lucky Cat Café, but he rarely spoke to her and would usually return to his room once the work was done. There, he would do maintenance on Hiro's robots, cleaning them and keeping them functional. Even his battle bots got the same tender treatment as the rest.

Sometimes, he would stare at status of the offline tracker. There was a small, fluttering hope in his chest that hoped it would come to life someday. And lead him to his living brother, For the most part, however, he just stared at the broken tracker to punish himself, playing the events at the fire over and over in his mind, trying to find what he could have done or said differently to save his brother. He replayed the memory until it mutated into a nightmare and he could hear the sound of his brother's dying screams whenever he closed his eyes.

Baymax stayed propped up against the wall, nothing but a constant fixture in the monotone world his life had become until the day he stubbed his toe on Hiro's bed.

"Ow!"

It was too late to stop Baymax's activation by the time he'd realized what he'd said, so he just walked over to his personal healthcare assistant and waited.

"Hello, my name is Baymax. I heard you were in distress. From 1 to 10, what is your level of pain?"

Frustrated, Tadashi fell into the seat by the computer and raked a hand through his hair, blowing air out in a long exhale while his robot observed him. "I'm not really in physical pain, Baymax."

"My scanners do not detect any physical injury." Of course not. Baymax hadn't been programmed to recognize emotional pain.

As though in answer to his thoughts, Tadashi watched in awe as his robot downloaded an entire database on emotional pain. Seriously, maybe he'd gone a little overboard on Baymax. Then again, it felt good to feel pride in something he'd done, he'd created. It was a nice reminder that not everything he touched burst into… that not everything he touched got messed up.

Baymax turned to him and said, "I believe you are suffering from the depression. My database recommends care and the support of your friends and relatives."

Big, white inflatable arms pulled Tadashi into an awkward hug. "There, there. It will be okay."

Tadashi pushed him away. "Baymax, I don't need this. Really." A circle of pictures featuring Gogo and the others glowed above Baymax's hand.

"I am calling your friends now."

Panicked, Tadashi shouted, "Cancel that call. It- it would be detrimental to my mental health!"

To his surprise, Baymax listened. "Would it really?"

"Yes. Now, please, just leave me alone."

He turned his back on the robot, fully intent on ignoring it. Then he heard a name he couldn't ignore.

"Hiro."

"What?" Tadashi demanded, his voice strained close to breaking.

"Hiro."

Following Baymax's gaze, he saw the empty bed, his hat sitting, untouched, on top of it.

He swallowed hard. "Hiro's not around, Baymax."

"When will he return? He is my patient. He is in my care."

"I know, buddy. But Hiro di-" Stop it. Stop acting like it didn't happen. Stop acting like he's coming back. "Hiro is… Hiro's gone. He can't be your paitent anymore."

"I don't understand. Your brother was in excellent health. He should have lived for many more years."

"Believe me, I know. I know he should have. Better than anyone." After all, Tadashi was the reason he didn't. Suddenly feeling too exhausted to speak, he stood up, walked into his bedroom, and shut the door, leaving Baymax to ponder what he meant.

His robotic gaze still focused on where Tadashi's retreating back had been, Baymax looked pointedly at his chest and said,

"Hiro is not gone. Hiro is here."


End file.
